Owning Beliefs
I have a confession. I’m guilty of living my life from other peoples’ beliefs. (Gasp! The horror!!) I’m coming clean rn.
Not naming names, but suffice it to say that I realized it wasn’t working for me in the long run. And I wanted to give you a heads up in case you were unknowingly doing the same thing.
It’s not uncommon that kids will (and often do) grow up living from their parents’ beliefs. As parents, we often want what’s best for our kiddos, so we have a mix of belief that our kids can do anything, all opportunities are possible for them, they have unlimited potential, etc., along with beliefs that we don’t want them to get hurt.
I’m guilty on that parenting belief system as well. 🙋♀️
But as adults, we often turn our compass to other loved ones besides our parents (spouse, partner, close friends, even adult children) to inform us of what’s possible in our own lives.
(Ahem…I’m guilty of doling out beliefs as an adult child, too! Sorry, mom and dad! Lol). 🙋♀️ 🙋♀️
Living our lives from someone else’s beliefs limits us as adults.
We reluctantly decide to “play it safe” with our dreams. We choose the comfy side of living instead of the exhilaration of creating and doing something we’ve never done before that opens up our world in a good way and with a positive impact on our world and the world around us.
Take it from me (so you don’t have to go through the struggle of learning this yourself, the hard way): look at where you want to go, what you want to create and experience, and who you want to be. Will these poached or forced-upon-you beliefs get you there?
You get to decide what you want to believe for yourself. It’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. And I argue it’s one of the most loving things you can do for the true owner of those put-upon-you beliefs. They don’t have to take responsibility for your results (or your resentment, anger, disappointment, etc.) Imagine what your relationship with this loved one can look like when you start to believe in your own dreams and goals.
Chances are, they will want to start borrowing your beliefs.
P.S. I take beliefs seriously, even though I think uncovering old beliefs and recommitting to and building new ones is fun! Schedule a consult if you’re stuck between your old ones and new ones.
