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Who’s Got You?

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It goes without saying that we all need a little love and support. Things go so much easier, life is more comfortable, and there is more peace when we have back-up. 

Many of us unknowingly choose the hard way to go about this. We look to spouses, kids, parents, friends, and coworkers to “get us”, support us, and have our backs in order to be in a good place or to make decisions or go after our dreams.

Sometimes it “works”. Loved ones believe in us. Colleagues “cooperate” with our plans and ideas. And friends may voice support for our dreams and goals. 

But sometimes, they don’t. They may not understand where we’re coming from. Our dreams may seem too far-fetched or difficult (their words). Colleagues may be swimming in their own drama to thoughtfully offer support and assistance when we’re trying to bring about change. 

We then spend our valuable time and energy trying to convince them to believe in us and to show us their support. That’s time and energy that could go directly into your goal or project. And trying to convince or change their minds and beliefs is hard and unpredictable.

Want the easy button here? Support yourself. Have your own (dang) back! 

Still feel like you want to convince someone to believe in you? Go ahead…go convince yourself first. 

There is no wasted time or energy in this process of convincing yourself and having your own back. And it’s easier than you think. In a nutshell, it looks like this:

Decide in advance how you’re going to celebrate that next success or milestone. 

Afraid you might not succeed? No problem. You can support yourself by choosing what thoughts, ideas, or sentiments you’d offer a loved one going through the same thing then trying these out on yourself.

If needed, change what you’re making failure mean by focusing on the step/task/goal and not what your making it say about you as a person. 

Talk lovingly to yourself. Look, be honest. We all talk to ourselves (even if only in our heads). So turn up the volume on the good lyrics about you. 

This “work” can help you move mountains. No additional back-up needed (beyond your own amazing self). 

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Beth Spenceri

Beth Spenceri

Hey there! I'm Beth Spenceri, a certified life coach and fellowship-trained Mohs surgeon.
I'm on a mission to help my fellow physicians decide "what's next" for them, including how to set and achieve new goals while practicing medicine (or not!), confidently make no-regret decisions, and finally live the lives of their dreams!