Every decision you make has potential to generate regret.
Just kidding. 🙂
Oh…you thought I really believed that decisions can create regret?
Nope. I know that’s not true. Because it’s not the decision that generates the regret. Nor is it the outcome of the decision that produces regret. It’s what you think about the decision (or about yourself or the result of that decision) that creates regret.
The purpose of making a decision is to move you forward, to begin making great things happen in your world, and to produce different/better/preferable results in your life (like more income, schedule flexibility, new or better relationship and connections, career growth and personal opportunity, etc.)
But for unknown reasons, you unintentionally allow regret to creep in after you make the decision. And that regret is what prevents you from moving forward.
This regret seems like it’s beyond your control. You want to move forward now that you’ve made that decision. You don’t want to feel the regret. But it’s there, nevertheless. And you feel powerless to shake it.
You feel regret because you think:
- the outcome is simply beyond your control (try as you might to actually change the outcome to make it more favorable)
- you don’t have a way to drum up the support from your loved ones (because you think that having their support would make your decision easier)
- you never should have chosen that and you should have known better
- you wouldn’t have to feel regret if you could have simply predicted the outcome.
Regret is inevitable when you base the “success” of your decision on needing someone else’s support, wanting to know the outcome before deciding, or when you unknowingly give away your power to create the results you want to experience. And it’s inevitable when you
Here’s where you really need to know: regret is optional.
You actually never have to feel regret after making a decision, even the big ones.
The solution is simple: build a strong relationship between your current self and your future self. That’s the secret to regret-free decision making.
I only wish (not regret!! just wish…) I had known that this was all it took to make decisions without regret. Would’ve saved myself some major pain and suffering from 2014-2020 for sure!
When you make the best decision now as your current self with your future self as the top priority, you anticipate your future needs, you seek the best resources for any missing information now (not waiting and seeing), and you literally create the path to your future self’s success. You’re using your best knowledge and power in the present to transform this decision into the best decision.
Most importantly: your current self places trust in your future self to create the best outcome for this decision no matter what.Â
But that’s only the first half of the equation. Your future self is the other part of the decision making process. Future you is the one who ultimately takes action from the decision. And future you is the one who has the wisdom, experience and unique ability to look back and decide what to make the decision mean. And that interpretation is optional; it’s a choice.
Future you completes that circle of trust initiated by your decision-making self by serving, honoring, and respecting that former you who made the decision. When future you looks back at current you from a loving, powerful and knowing place, there is no room for regret. Future you wants to be in a better place, one that isn’t created from or stuck in regret.
This current you/future you bond is outside of the realm of what other people say, do or think. And it’s irrespective of whatever circumstances happen or don’t happen in response to your decision.
Having your own back, now and in the future, is the one and only way to eliminate regret.
Sometimes we get hung up on past regret. This concept still holds true though: you simply have a little repair work to do with the current you/past you relationship. You can start by choosing different thoughts about your past self who made the decision. Your current thoughts are the ones creating the regret.
So how do you want to feel about your past self’s decision? If not regret, then what? Understanding? Honor? Integrity?
And what do you want to think about that decision? Maybe that this decision doesn’t define who you are or who you are becoming. Maybe you want to think that you made the best decision with the knowledge you had then, and that’s ok. Or maybe that you are the person who makes every decision turn out in your favor.
It’s your choice…your decision.
Even though making decisions without regret is that simple, old habits of regret can be difficult to break. Not a problem; coaching can help!
